Signs As WTNV Proverbs
Aries: There’s a special place in Hell. It’s really hip. Very exclusive.
Taurus: If you’re worried your writing isn’t good just remember the earth is warming and soon good and bad writing alike will all be underwater.
Gemini: Your body is a temple - a temple of blood rituals and pagan tributes. A lost temple. A temple that needs more calcium. You should maybe try vitamin supplements.
Cancer: Step one: seperate your lips. Step two: use facial muscles to pull back corners of mouth. Step three: widen your eyes. This is how to be happy.
Leo: Does the carpet match the drapes? No, it doesn’t. You’re the worst interior decorator. Please leave my home.
Virgo: Eating meat: it’s a difficult moral decision. Because it’s stolen, that meat. You should apologize.
Libra: Throw your hands in the air. Now your arms. Keep detaching limbs and throwing them in the air. Hopefully, the birds will be sated and leave.
Scorpio: I’d never join a PEN15 club that would allow a person like me to become a member.
Sagittarius: A million dollars isn’t cool. You know what’s cool? A basilisk.
Capricorn: The human soul weighs 21 grams, smells like grilled vegetables, looks like a wrinkled tartan quilt, and sounds like bridge traffic.
Aquarius: Feeling lost? Like you have no goal in life? Like you are covered in dirt and wet leaves? Like you’re an earthworm? Are you an earthworm? Kinda sounds like you are an earthworm, actually.
Pisces: Look to the sky. You will not find answers there, but you will certainly see what everyone is screaming about.
